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We Didn’t Know it was You

May 24, 2010

This Christmas I heard a very nice solo that included the words, or a close match to the words, “We’re sorry Lord, we didn’t know it was you.” The rest of this post would be rather confusing without that opening line, but I was still pretty tempted to leave out any kind of prologue.

Sorry, Lord. We didn’t know it was you. Really. It was an accident. Galilean peasant, son of the Most High, we just didn’t make the connection. Very sorry about that. We understand the crucifixion business was rather unpleasant, but please don’t smite us. It was a mistake. A genuine, honest mistake. Believe me, when we tortured Jesus of Nazareth to death we were pretty sure he wasn’t the Incarnate God. We just thought he was another one of the thousands of Galilean peasants who only learn to behave when they’re dead.

But honestly, while we’re willing to admit some guilt here, you’ve got a problem or two yourself. Frankly, itinerant Jewish rabbi in occupied territory was a really bad gig to choose. If you hang out with a bad crowd what do you think is going to happen? In fact, you’re just generally pretty bad at this. How often have your prophets been killed, your holy men slaughtered? You just don’t mark people very well. Seriously – how is it that the Lord of Hosts can’t manage to so much as glow to help us out? How are we supposed to know who we can kill when you won’t mark your own?

Really, it’s just embarrassing. Do you understand how the world works? People who get in the way have bad things happen to them. It’s how we get things done. I know, I know, blessed are the meek and all that crap, but couldn’t you mark the blessed with something a bit less subjective? Is it too much to ask for a sign? We’ve been painting your saints with halos for years for a reason. It’s a hint. We thought you’d get it. “Make them look like this, and we won’t touch them.” Who’s ours, and who’s yours? We need to know, or we just can’t be held responsible for this sort of fiasco.

I know this seems like rehashing old fights, but Rome was an empire. It was efficient. It did stuff. It had great men, who did lots of important things. Julius Caesar, for instance. Even those of us who aren’t omniscient have heard of him. He got things done. He didn’t take no for an answer. He conquered whole new provinces to get himself noticed. Not a man to sit by and let things happen without him. But if you want that kind of greatness you need to take some losses. I’m sure the Gaulic peasantry weren’t too happy with Caesar, but then again there’s a reason the Gaulic peasantry aren’t writing the history books. Empires, like any high-powered machine, have dangerous parts. Don’t stick your hand in them. Don’t, for the love of Yourself, incarnate in the middle of all the gears and complain when it hurts.

It’s not that hard. I can break it down short and sweet for you. We’re making omelets in this world you gave us. Would you please stop disguising yourself as an egg?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2010 9:54 pm

    There are echos of the Grand Inquisitor chapter from The Brothers Karamazov (which, if you haven’t read, you absolutely should). Are you sure you’re not Orthodox?

    • Eric permalink
      May 28, 2010 9:24 am

      Monday you were insisting I was Catholic and just didn’t know it. Make up your mind!

      • May 31, 2010 8:27 pm

        Sure I was. The Orthodox certainly are Catholic without knowing it!


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